Alan Cumming on NPR
I just laughed so hard at this that I felt like I needed to record it somewhere.
I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.
..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.
“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”
I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..
..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.
That female pilot is so bad ass
“Okay, okay, I’m going to tell you what Hermione sees in Ron. A trio is a balancing act, right? They’re equalizers of each other. Harry’s like the action, Hermione’s the brains, Ron’s the heart. Hermione has been assassinated in these movies, and I mean that genuinely—by giving…
Sirius Black in reading glasses and Remus Lupin in a cardigan reading the evening post together.
Remus and Harry make me so sad. Think about the first time Harry met Remus, on the Hogwarts Express. Remus is staring at this teenager, this boy that is so painfully Lily and James’ son. In another life he would have been ‘Uncle Remus’, swinging by every Sunday for supper, babysitting Harry with Sirius. Instead he’s a complete stranger.
RIGHT IN THE HEART
- biting her lips
- playing with her hair
- using her wand to hold her hair in place when brewing potions
- subsequently taking her wand out of her and having it tumble down her…
give me polite rebel teddy lupin though, who asks his grandmother’s permission for every one of his piercings, and who needed victoire to hold his hand for the first one, because “no his eyes were not watering thank you very much”
who is really good at setting the table…
What if Charlie Weasley is asexual? Like what if when his brothers were going through puberty and getting crushes on girls and just obsessing over them, Charlie was just like, “Guys. DRAGONS.”